Jesus was abused

      I'm finishing up a class next week on psychopathology.  It has been a tough class where we have read several hundred pages and gone over video sessions of lectures.  The lecture that I recently watched was on disassociative disorder.  The lecture was given from a lady who suffered from the problem and also overcame it.  The disassociation was the result of sexual trauma that occurred when she was little from her grandfather.
       One of the things that struck me, is that she said "Jesus can fully identify with being abused."  Jesus was falsely accused.  He was betrayed by all that knew him.  He was spit upon and beaten.  Most of all, as he hung on the cross he was forsaken by becoming sin for us.  Being totally innocent, which is something that I can never claim, he was forsaken.  So, he can identify with the one who has been abused because he was.
       Matthew 26:67-68 "Then they spat in His face and beat Him with their fists, and others slapped Him, and said, "Prophesy to us, You Christ; who is the one who hit You?"  Who were the mean people who said these things to Jesus?  They were the Sanhedrin, the spiritual leaders of the day.  The very people who should have accepted him.
       One other thing that the lady in the video said was "he still carries his scars".  She mentioned that she still carries some scars of being abused.  This let me to think that all of us to some degree have experienced some scars.  And that in the midst of that that God wants to redeem those scars and use them for his glory.  Not that he caused the bad things to happen.  But, that God wants to redeem them.  God is using this ladies story to help her now relate to those who have been abused.  She is redeeming her story.  God wants to use the dark places in each of our lives and hurt.
        The last thing that she said in the video that I want to point out is "Jesus offers hope".   Jesus doesn't condone or approve of people abusing other people.  That is not a part of his will.  Rather, Jesus offers his love and power to heal those hurts.  Hebrews 4:15 "For we do not have a high priest who cannot sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who has bene tempted in all things as we are, yet without sin."

Go away from me Lord

     I don't know if you've ever had a weakness or problem that caused a stumbling block for you spiritually.  I've been a christian now for almost 30 years, so I have had my share.  It actually seems that I do pretty good when it comes to the really big challenges.  It is the day to day sins and compromises that I tend to give in to.  It makes me feel ashamed sometimes that after all this time I have so much more to learn and more growth that is needed.
     I think this may have been how Peter felt when he saw the Lord act on his behalf.  The Lord had been preaching when he finished it says tht he told Simon Peter to "Put out into deep water and let down the nets for a catch." Luke 5:8.  Peter knew that they had been fishing all night and caught nothing.  They were exhausted, depressed and just wanting to pack up and go get some sleep.  Still, Jesus told them to go back out, so Simon decides not to argue and takes them back out in the middle of the day.
     The result was that both his and the partners boat were filled with fish and began to sink.  Peter's reaction is a classic, he says, "Go away from me, Lord, I am a sinful man."  He realizes that Jesus was able to do something that he couldn't do and the power of it shocked him and humbled him.  They seemed to even be afraid of Jesus at this point.  Jesus replies to Peter's comment by saying "Don't be afraid; from now on you will catch men." Luke 5:11.
     I think Peter may have realized that this miracle that Jesus performed was something that was so casual to Jesus that it appeared effortless.  He realized that he was dealing with a power that was completely beyond him.  It may be that christians today are so common when they talk about the Lord that they don't realize what a powerful God we serve.  I would encourage you to meditate on Ephesians 3:20 which says, "Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be the glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever!"  Did you notice that, he can do more than we can imagine or ask!
     A few weeks ago we were at a small group meeting that we recently decided to be a part of.  When prayer requests were being shared I mentioned a request.  I also mentioned that I wasn't worried about it because I knew that God is in control.  I know that nothing is difficult for him and that he can change things in a heartbeat.  I know God can because I have seen him do it, time and time again.  I don't deserve for God to act, but I nevertheless will brag about God, God is able to do more than we can ask or imagine.
   This led Jesus to tell the disciples one day "I tell you the truth, if anyone says to that mountain, Go, throw yourself into the sea and does not doubt in his heart but believes that what he says will happen, it wil lbe done for him." Mark 11:22-24  The problem is not that the mountain is too big.  The problem is that our faith is too small. 

Sacred Parenting

    We joined a small group a few weeks ago that has been studying this book called "Sacred Parenting".  It comes with a video series which is about a 20 minute segment every week.  http://www.amazon.com/Sacred-Parenting-Raising-Children-Shapes/dp/0310264510/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1339350076&sr=1-1#_
    The study doesn't look at parenting in the typical manner.  Because the premise of the book is that God gives us our children both so that we can influence them for Christ, but also uses them to draw us closer to Christ.  This is consistent with what the Bible says which tells us that there are many trials and challenges in life and that God desires to use these things to make us more christlike.  Do we always understand it that way?  Probably not.  But, then maybe that is because we don't understand how important it is to God that we become more christlike.
    Look what it says in James 1:2-4 "Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. And let endurance have its perfect result,that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing."  So, if we allow it, then trials can actual have a good result in that it strengthens our fiath and helps complete us, or in other words, it helps mature us.
    I have recommended a few times recently a book called "The Explosive Child" to parents who have kids who are at risk for out of home placement.  Dr.Greene is a doctor and has some great insight.  One of his premises is the idea of deciding ahead of time what is worth fighting about and what is not.  This calls for parents to reflect on their values and what is important to them.  That is what kids do sometimes, it calls us to look at ourselves and ask what is important and is this truly worth arguing about? 
    Looking back on it, I feel like I have made my share of mistakes.  I would add though that we all make mistakes.  In fact, it is impossible for us to do anything godly apart from him.  So, the call for sacred parenting is more that just a call to try harder.  It is a call to draw closer to Jesus so that we are abiding in Him.  Apart from him I can do nothing John 15:1-5, but with him I can do all that he calls me to.

A still small voice

The pastor today started his sermon by talking about all the products out there with the word "simple" in them. he mentioned what do advertiser think we want to hear that word for? Maybe because most of our lives are so hectic and fast paced. Then, he also mentioned computers, that when they have been used for a while they sometimes freeze up because of so much information and downloads and other stuff put into them over the years. One thing that he asked us is at you at the point where your ready to "freak out and freeze up?"


One example that he used was of Elijah in 1 Kings 19:13 where God asks Elijah what he is doing at the mouth of a cave. Elijah had just had a great victory at Mt.Caramel and now was on the run from Jezebel. He was exhausted and tired and a lot like that computer. In the end, what he had to do was get quiet and hear the still, small voice of God that came not in an earthquake, but in a gentle whisper.

I paid attention to this sermon because I remember some of the references being used before in my life back in 2001 when I was on the verge of a major change. This may also be the case soon for me now. It is both an exciting and anxious time. I am prone to freaking out and freezing up. I am prone to getitng my eyes off of God and onto the storm around me.

Earlier today I had lunch at a noisy resturant. I mentioned to my wife that it felt like eating in the middle of a busy freeway, noisy, dirty and loud. I don't think I've ever gotten stressed out just going to lunch, but I was ready to leave before the food got there.  To say that my life has been noisy like that is an understatement. I haven't prayed enough, been quiet enough, sought his face enough or been persistent enough in prayer. I'm guilty of the sin of self-sufficiency and I am repenting and committing myself to praying more and getting quiet so I can hear his voice.

One last thing that the pastor said was to talk about the "reboot" disk. The disk that make it like it was at the beginning. It gets rid of all the garbage and stuff you put on the computer and makes it like it was new. Sometimes we need to do that. Remember what it was like at the beginning and go back to simply focusing on Jesus.  It made me think of when my faith was young and I was in the youth group and learning something about God everyday.  It made me think about college and how close I was to Jesus and how it felt like I could reach out and touch him. 

Jesus is able to take care of me. There is nothing too great for him. My anxiety is silly because no problem is hard for him. God can do anything that he wants and knows how to take care of me. My doubt though is a problem, it says something about my lack of trust. So, I need to surrender that doubt and have that simply childlike faith I did when I first came to him.

Taking root

  Last weekend and the one before I worked on expanding a flower bed in our yard.  In order to do that, I had to pull up some of the grass near the house and move it to the other side of the yard.  It might sound easy, but unless you have a machine that does it for you then it isn't that easy.  I would get it started and slowly roll the grass up and cut the roots holding the grass down until it was rolled up and I could move it. 
  After that, I took the grass across the yard to some spots where there was no grass and planted them and watered.  This involves softening the ground where your going to put the grass and then making sure it has enough water.  You soften the ground so that the roots can with time burrow into the ground it was moved to. 
  It got me to thinking about the difference between having roots and being rooted.  At first, the grass was rooted.  It was tough to pull up because it was rooted into the ground.  It had been there for years and liked where it was.  Having roots simply means you have the capacity to be rooted.  When it was moved, it would be easy to pick it up again and move it to a new location because it wasn't rooted yet.
   As a believer, I have the capacity to be rooted in place.  This comes slowly, just like with the roots of the grass, as I root myself into God's word and prayer and practicing spiritual disciplines.  It may not look fun or exciting or thrilling, but it helps keep me rooted when trouble comes.  The other grass looks okay too on the surface, but it has been pulled up and is easily moved.  It hasn't had time yet to be rooted.  It hasn't done the work required.
   The spiritual disciplines may not seem glamourous or important until trouble comes.  Being rooted in God's word will keep us out of trouble and keep our faith strong.  I remember as a freshman in college, there was a lot of temptations to join the crowd and do things I shouldn't do.  In the small town of Huntsville there was at least five college bars kids went to every Thursday.  Instead, I joined Campus Crusade for Christ which also met on Thursday and got involved in a good group of young people.  I kept going to church.  I kept my eyes on Jesus.  It kept me from making a lot of serious mistakes.  It can keep your feet firmly planned on a good foundation also.

What God has said to me recently. . . .

      Recently, I wrote about my frustrations at finding a new church home.  Right after that post, I started going to a church that meets at my son's school which is about a mile from our home.  They also have small groups which is something that I really wanted.  While it may not be a perfect fit for us, I think if I wait for a perfect fit this side of heaven I will never find it and church hop till I get to heaven.  It makes me think again about what my expectations are for a local church.  What do you expect when you go to church?

      I think it was the second or third service I attended when Scott, one of the copastors got up to speak and really spoke about some themes that had been going through my mind.  At that point, I had not met Scott at all or told him what was on my mind.  It came back to the idea that I am longing for God to speak to me clearly.  I am looking for a clear word from him.

     Well, be careful what you ask for, you might get it.  One of the things I heard loud and clear is that there are some things in mind that is keeping me from being all that God wants me to be.  That is a hard message to hear, but we need to hear it sometimes.  One of the things that came to mind was the issue of forgiveness.  I have a memory when it comes to past hurts that is eternal.  I tend to hold grudges like it was my favorite toy and your trying to take it from me.  I may not be able to remember the three things my wife told me to get by the time I get to the store and have to call seven times, but I know what I was wearing five years ago when I was hurt.  I remember what the other person was wearing, what was playing on the radio and what I had for lunch that day.  I remember what the weather was like and what I did that morning.  If it was up to me I would have it on a billboard for everyone to read about.  I have a hard time forgiving, but that is exactly what I need to do.  I heard God speak to my heart and say loud and clear "let it go" and I heard myself say, "No, not yet."

     Then Scott went on with his two prong assault on my heart.  It really isn't Scott's fault.  I actually like the guy.  But, he doesn't fight fair.  I forgot my protest sign that morning, so I sat there waiting for the next part of the message.  Then Scott says that the other thing that some of us "that's me" need to let go of is "pride".  Ouch.  It was like someone took out a flashlight and shined it on my heart and said, "This is why you won't let go of this hurt, your pride."  So, I had to come to the realization that this is what is holding me back, as the pastor pointed out, pride often does that even though we refuse to call it that.  I had to come to the point where I am willing to say though the other person never acknowledges the hurt they caused, I need to give this to God and let go.

Ephesians 4:31-32 "Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you."

Knowing God's Will

    Lately, I have been thinking about how to know the difference between God's will and my own.  Specifically, I have been wondering to myself if when I feel a sense of discontentment if this is from the Lord or if this is my own will.  Or does God sometimes use feelings of discontent to get us to move in another diretion?  I have heard that he does and I have also heard that this is the flesh fighting against the Spirit.

    I really don't want to just go rush out and do something because of a feeling of discontent and then walk outside of the will of God.  Sometimes, even more someone like me who has seminary degrees and has been ordained it is hard to hear from God.  The frustrating thing is that sometimes when I feel I most need to hear from him he grows even more silent than usual.

    There are some issues that I know I need to deal with and I think that is probably the best place to start when thinking about God's will.  I know that the commandments of God are firm and that they are the same for everyone.  I know that God desires for me to love other people and Him.  I know that He wants me to grow in Christlikeness.  I know that he wants me to grow in the fruit of the Spirit mentioned in Galatians.  This seems like a big enough task by itself to keep me busy for the rest of my life.  The truth is, that I am nowhere near where I need to be.  I may appear spiritually mature, but I do wonder a lot of times about that.  If that is even a possibility this side of heaven.  It seems the more I look the less I see of people who are truly spiritually mature and more selfishness and egoism, even in the church.

    So, these are things I know I need to work on.  What is less clear is specific things that God wants me to do.  For example, which church to join.  It seems that the churches I have been at lately are either rock band style worship services or organ music senior citizen groups.  I don't like Southern Gospel, it sounds folksy and boring and trite.  I don't like rock band music because it is too loud and I just don't get the need for spotlights in church.  The Summit church where I went to last month had at least 25-30 spotlights around the worship center.  So, I am having trouble finding a place to fit in and wondering where God is leading me and not hearing any clear direction. 

    Some verses I have found helpful in the past are Psalm 37:4-6; Psalm 145:19; Romans 8:28