I've been thinking a lot about changes I need to make in my life to help me feel better, less depressed, less burned out and more in charge of my future. To tell the truth, for the last 6 months I do feel like I have been burned out. I wake up exhausted and drag my body out of bed like I'm 89 instead of 42 years old. I dread this feeling and wish it would stop. Knowing that my body, mind and spirit are all linked together, I decided to go on an exercise program and start to eat better.
Having said that, I will confess this is probably the 30th time I have vowed to make changes only for them to last a few days or weeks. I start off well, but then simply don't have the energy to continue. Life gets busy and I forget or don't want to lift the weights or go walk or do what I know I should do. Maybe I try to do too much too soon. I started on Sunday and today is Tuesday and I have already exercised with weights twice and gone walking once.
I say mind, body and spirit are all connected because I get the sense in which when I feel more depressed and tired it also seems like more work to have faith and to read my Bible and to go to church. Church itself often seems like work to me these days and I sometimes wonder if the issue is that church for me represents a ritual and not a relationship. Maybe it shouldn't be that way, but it is. So, not only do I want to eat better, take my vitamins, but also be more consistent with spending time with God and prayer. My prayer life is kinda like my exercise plan has been, spotty and inconsistent. Maybe that shocks you to hear that I am human, but that is how it has been for as long as I have been a christian.
So, a big part of the issue for me is consistency. Whatever I am going to do I want to be consistent about it. I was with a client today at the gym and we were talking about muscle and working out. I told him the old saying, "if you don't use it you'll lose it." The truth is, not only do you lose it, but you lose it quite quickly. I can remember being able to lift the equivalent of my own weight over my head using free weights when I was in school and now I would be doing good to do half that. I haven't use some of those muscles nearly as much as I use to, so I lost some strength there. The good news is, that I can also gain it back.
Another change that I want to make is to work on letting go of some anger and bitterness. I have some people in my life and some situations that I wish I could change. I'm sure that you do also. But, wish that I might they don't seem to change and I can't make them. What I can do is change my attitude toward them. The bitterness and anger as it turns out is only hurting me. I want to let go of the things in my life that are toxic.
When I was talking to some people on facebook the other day I mentioned that I was going to try and change my diet. I said, "Reese's peanut butter cups stock may take a dive when they hear about this." I said that because I love Reese's peanut butter cups. I'm also quite fond of Krispy Kreme donuts. If I were to eat one of them it would be great, but the bad things about it is, Krispy Kreme donuts by themselves will make my blood sugar go up to about 300. Sometimes I think just looking at them makes my blood sugar go up. So, even though it is good for some people, it isn't that good for me. I wish I could say the same for broccoli or spinach. :)
Anyway, I wish for 2010 that I would press ahead to a healthier and happier me and I wish the same for you.
If you see me around, ask about how I'm doing. Hold me accountable!! I need the encouragement.
