For whatever reason, I was thinking about the 5 years or so that I served two churches as pastor. I was thinking about some of the people that I use to work with in those churches and preached to and wondering where they are now. The two churches could not have been more different from each other. One was in rural East Texas, very much a area that had seen better days. There was at least 7 abandoned buildings within two blocks of the church. The other church had a fairly new sanctuary, but also a lot of baby christians who liked to fight about everything.
When I think about both churches, though I am fond of some of the people I met there, I would honestly have to say that if it had been up to me to join either church if I didn't work there I would not have. The one church seems apathetic and the other hotheaded, but both seemed to like to "play" more than pray for really live for Jesus. It reminds me of what the book of Revelations says about the church in Laodicea, the lukewarm church, they are not hot or cold, so Jesus says he will spit them out of his mouth.
One thing that I also thought about what was felt to me like an absence of the spirit of God. It felt like all of the energy to do the work was being generated by me and not by God. It seemed like power was absent from both churches. I think it is because both churches had some issues to deal with before God would bless them. But, it doesn't seem you can tell people that these days. Rather, people seem to think if you have an active youth group, or the right programs, or whatever is the thing that is being promoted at that moment then growth will happen. That growth is most often equated with more people in attendance.
I don't think there is anything wrong with wanting more people in your church. But, it seems to me that many people have their focus in the wrong place. From what I read in the Bible, if you do things God's way then God will honor you in due season. If you try to do things your own way, then you have still be blessed in some ways, but it isn't a blessing from God and it won't hold up for spiritual treasure in heaven. Sometimes it seems like we equate church activity or busy scheduled or programs with growth instead of maturity, character and surrender. But, of course, it is much harder to measure a surrendered heart than people in pews. If all I want is more people, then all I need to do is count noses. Some people would also cynically say that church leaders are interested in more noses because that means more of an offering and I have to say that I do think that is the way some in the ministry think. I tried to make it my habit not to look at who gave what, but I know the first pastor I worked with years ago would definitely be bias towards the main givers.
Don't get me wrong, as a pastor, I wanted to see more people in the pews. It is disheartening to say the least when you work all week on a message and only a few come out to hear it. It is also disheartening to go out and visit some people time and again and hear their promise to come back to church only to never seem them darken the doors of the church. But, I am also reminded that Jesus had times when he preached and people actually walked away from him. They heard him say that they should "eat his flesh and drink his blood" meaning that they should partake of him and they walked away in droves. I am not sure that Jesus would have always been viewed as a success in most church growth manuals.
It is funny the way God works. I use to think I couldn't be happy without being in a ministry position like being a pastor. Now, I wonder why in the world I thought that way. If God had not closed that door in the church, I would not be where I am today. Granted, it took me a long time to get here, but God does not waste anything. He has put me in a surprising place and I'm not sure that He is done at all. But, he has done what I didn't even know to ask for him to do. He put me in a place where I can help people in practical ways and in meaningful ways.
