One of the things that the CPE program at Alamance Regional Hospital in Burlington taught me was the importance of understanding myself. That means understanding my weaknesses, my tendencies, my reactions, so that I can really help people. I learned a lot about myself through that experience at the hospital. One of the things I learned about myself is that I have a horrible temper at times. It is one of the things that I really dislike about myself and try hard to keep in check.
I don't think, I may be wrong here, that when people first meet me they see this about me. I tend to come across as fairly quiet until you get to know me. I am by nature an introvert, so sometimes people underestimate me and think they can walk over me. They did when I was younger and I allowed them to. But, that isn't the case for me as an adult.
I say all this because the Bible says alot about controlling you tongue and temper. It is one of those things that you can talk about, but it is very hard to do at times. Particularly if your embarrased or your pride has been wounded. This actually happened to me earlier today. I went to a garage to get my vehicle inspected. Instead of asking me about the problem they found and fixing it, they simply didn't pass my vehicle. I was very surprised and asked the man why he didn't tell me what was wrong, so it can be fixed and my vehicle could pass. In all the 27 years that I have been driving this is what they would have done. It means more money for them if they do this. In fact, when my Kia Spectra needed two new tires to pass inspection at another garage, they did tell me and we fixed that so it would pass. But, instead I find myself being charged for a failed inspection. It really got me upset at the time that was wasted today. But, then the man has the nerve to raise his voice at me and point his finger at me.
Wow! I can't believe that this guy had the nerve to do this. I was going to start yelling at him, then thought about the fact that my two kids and a neighborhood friend are with me. I was embarrased and humilitated, but I decided that I would carry this conversation further and that I would file a complaint with his boss about him. I paid my bill and left and came home and called the corporate office. I have to say, the old Jeff would have launched into a verbal assault on this guy and called him names. That is what my flesh wanted to do. I was embarrased. He has no right to do this to me. My pride was wounded. The hardest thing to do was to walk away, without a parting shot and shut my mouth, until I got home to complaint to the proper supervisor.
I am not sure that what I did showed much maturity or not. But, I know that it shows some sign of growth for me. I have a long ways to go. I still say stupid things at the wrong time that I shouldn't. I still gossip sometimes when tempted. I still have a hard time controlling my temper. It is a bear that has had its baby cubs taken away, cross this line if you dare kind of anger. Though I may have a long ways to go to maturity and I think that I do, I see a little bit of progress here.
To learn more about CPE look at this site
http://www.mayo.edu/mshs/cpe-career.html
For a good article about what the Bible says about anger
http://preachersfiles.com/anger/
For a Bible study about anger look at
http://www.dougbrittonbooks.com/onlinebiblestudies-irritationandangermanagement/whatgodsaysinthebibleaboutanger.php
