Dealing with Change
One of the best books I read to help me understand the church and its problems was a book by Edwin Friedman called "Generation to Generation" http://www.amazon.com/Generation-Family-Process-Church-Synagogue/dp/0898620597 . What I got out of the book, is that Friedman compares churches and synagogues to families (Friedman is Jewish). In the sense that, families have role and expectations of each member and so do churches. This expectation is set whether it is consciously acknowledged or not.
These expectations and roles that churches have, both of their congregations and the ministers in them often will lead to conflict. When one or more members is not living up to the role or trying to take on a role that is not designated to them. This can be particularly difficult for a new situation where the roles and expectations have not been clearly voiced or understood or where the expectations were different somewhere else. I think this is, in part, what led to some confusion on my part in some of the positions I have been in. The role that was expected of me was not clearly voiced or the committee that called me was in conflict with what the churches expectations clearly were.
In my case, in my first church, I voiced my desire for they're to be an outreach ministry. I was coming from a largely suburban experience of churches to a more rural setting. I was use to things growing and being built and I moved to an area that was experiencing decline. The word "outreach" did not mean to them knocking on doors. I think in looking back on it, they wanted outreach, but they wanted it they're way. Because our expections were different, that led to frustration. That frustration was mainly on my side of things because I didn't understand the expectations. There was probably also things about that culture that I didn't get or didn't take the time to understand.
I was thinking that maybe this is why change has been so difficult for me over time. I remember my first serious conflict with change. It was the move from elementary school to junior high. I still remember it as one of the worst and most stressful days of my young life. The school was so much bigger and we actually had lockers instead of leaving our books in our desk. Hildebrandt Junior High seemed so huge back then and actually it is not that small now either. I was pretty comfortable back at old Northampton Elementary and would have been okay with everything pretty much staying the same.
I say this in the middle of experiencing big changes at work over the last few weeks. My job duties have changed (I think for the better) and my supervisor has changed and now our doctor and program director is changing. While many, if not most, of these changes in the long run may be good, it has my anxiety up a little this week. The thought occured to me that maybe this is why people in the church often complain when change occurs there also. Whether it be a change in classrooms or a new way of doing ministry. It isn't that we don't want good things to happen, but it is an embrace of the way things have been. Whether or not it has all been good, it is something known.
Maybe this is why I also enjoy the concept of God as unchanging. That while many things may change in my life, if not everything at some point or other, God doesn't need nor does he change. See Malachi 3:6; James 1:17.
These expectations and roles that churches have, both of their congregations and the ministers in them often will lead to conflict. When one or more members is not living up to the role or trying to take on a role that is not designated to them. This can be particularly difficult for a new situation where the roles and expectations have not been clearly voiced or understood or where the expectations were different somewhere else. I think this is, in part, what led to some confusion on my part in some of the positions I have been in. The role that was expected of me was not clearly voiced or the committee that called me was in conflict with what the churches expectations clearly were.
In my case, in my first church, I voiced my desire for they're to be an outreach ministry. I was coming from a largely suburban experience of churches to a more rural setting. I was use to things growing and being built and I moved to an area that was experiencing decline. The word "outreach" did not mean to them knocking on doors. I think in looking back on it, they wanted outreach, but they wanted it they're way. Because our expections were different, that led to frustration. That frustration was mainly on my side of things because I didn't understand the expectations. There was probably also things about that culture that I didn't get or didn't take the time to understand.
I was thinking that maybe this is why change has been so difficult for me over time. I remember my first serious conflict with change. It was the move from elementary school to junior high. I still remember it as one of the worst and most stressful days of my young life. The school was so much bigger and we actually had lockers instead of leaving our books in our desk. Hildebrandt Junior High seemed so huge back then and actually it is not that small now either. I was pretty comfortable back at old Northampton Elementary and would have been okay with everything pretty much staying the same.
I say this in the middle of experiencing big changes at work over the last few weeks. My job duties have changed (I think for the better) and my supervisor has changed and now our doctor and program director is changing. While many, if not most, of these changes in the long run may be good, it has my anxiety up a little this week. The thought occured to me that maybe this is why people in the church often complain when change occurs there also. Whether it be a change in classrooms or a new way of doing ministry. It isn't that we don't want good things to happen, but it is an embrace of the way things have been. Whether or not it has all been good, it is something known.
Maybe this is why I also enjoy the concept of God as unchanging. That while many things may change in my life, if not everything at some point or other, God doesn't need nor does he change. See Malachi 3:6; James 1:17.
