Going to church

     As many of you know, I have been struggling with my relationship with the church.  I want to have a connection with God's people.  I also want to have a strong relationship with God and to feel his presence in church.  The problem is, that often I don't feel His presence there.  Often I come out of the service just as tired as I was when I entered.  I'm asking myself these days what do I need from church and how will I know when I have finally found my church home?

     We went to a church this morning and the pastor said that he had been in that church about 3-4 weeks.  He was very excited and you could tell that he was still in the "honeymoon" period where things were going well and things are new.  I hope that he keeps his enthusiasm.  I hope also that the church stays behind him.  He seemed to say that, for him, he experienced God's presence in the service, which was billed as a "healing prayer" service.  I'm glad that he had an encounter that was meaningful to him.  I felt mainly distance and like an outsider.

     Having said that I believe that God does heal.  One of the verses that was read that I was thinking about was James 5:16 which says "confess your sins to one another, and pray for one another, so that you may be healed. The effective prayer of a righteous man can accomplish much."   It can accomplish much, because that person is praying by faith.  And with faith, we know that God can move mountains.

    

The Spirit of Jesus did not permit them. . .

  I was listening today to a sermon online by Pastor Rick Kavanaugh about Acts 16.  He is talking about the team of five that God used to reach those in Europe.  He mentions that Lydia was the first convert of Europe.  She was a seller of purple, a very expensive fabric.  She had her own home and the church met in her home Acts 16:40.  One of the points that he makes is that God was bringing all of these people together to help fulfill the mission that he called them to.
  I also noticed in looking at this passage that there was some areas that God did not for some reason want Paul to enter at that time.  It says that they had a desire to move through Asia, ye the Spirit of God forbidden them "to speak the word in Asia".  Then, they also had the desire to move through Bithynia, but it says, "the Spirit of Jesus did not permit them." Acts 16:7.  I find this difficult to understand because first I wonder how God made this clear to them.  Unfortunately, the scripture doesn't make that clear in this passage.  Second, I wonder why the Spirit wouldn't allow them to go into this area?  This is a team made up of people like Luke, Timothy, Paul and Silas just to name those we know the names of.  These were people who were ready to risk everything for God, but there was some areas they were not allowed to go.
  It is just possible, that though these people were pillars of the church that God had another group in mind to go into this area.  It also could be that this was not the correct time.  I don't know how God made his will known to them.  It could be that God never did truly tell them why.  Why is not really the main question for us to wrestle with in this passage.  The important thing is that God has a way to make his will clear and we are to obey.  We are to trust Him that he has his own reasons for leading us the way he does.
  He also has a specific mission in mind for each of us.  We cannot do all things for all people.  In fact, there is a lot that each of us cannot do.  I am okay with public speaking and I am okay with teaching, but I will never sing solos or sing in the choir.  I don't have a good singing voice and no real desire to work on improving it.  That simply isn't my thing.  Thank God that it is for others who do a much better job than I ever could.  My mission is not yours and yours isn't mine.  God gives each of us gifts and he wants us to use what he has given us.
  Years ago when I was a chaplain I spent some time one day during rounds listening to an elderly ladie's story.  I think I was in her room for over 45 minutes talking with her.  She gave me one of the greatest compliments I ever got when I was leaving the room and she turned to her daughter and said that "that chaplain listens well."  That is one of my gifts.  I don't always remember where I put my glasses or keys.  I don't remember the three things my wife tells me to get from the grocery store (not without a list).  But, I do remember conversations.  I can talk with someone once and remember what they said a year later.   That is one of the gifts God has given me.  I have found that God has often surrounded me with those who compliment that gift because I am weak in many other areas.
   It is nice to know that even people like Paul, Timothy an Silas and Luke had doors close in their face sometimes.  Because none of us can be all things to all people.  The important thing to do is to be faithful with the gifts you are given.