some thoughts abot forgiveness
This last week, I was contemplating the meaning of forigiveness. What forgiveness truly is and what it is not. How do I know when I have forgiven and what is my obligation as a christian. I noticed that forgiveness is related in scripture to how God has forgiven us. Jesus tells a parable about a king who wished to settle debts with slaves. He calls a slave and forgives a large debt. The slave responds by going out into the community and finding a man who owes him about 3.5 months wages. He tries to choke the man and throws him in prison. The king is angry when he finds out about this lack of forgiveness and throws the man in prison. God uses this parable to say to us that he expects us to forgive each other because he has forgiven us.
This is a good way to think about forgiveness. That it must be done with the humility that however much others have offended us that we have offended God much more. If God, who didn't need to forgive us was willing to go to that length then we should forgive others. Forgiveness is not minimizing nor is excusing what others have done. It doesn't say that it doesn't matter. Nor, does it mean I treat the person like nothing happened. I can forgive a snake for biting me, but I don't need to stick my hand back into his nest.
I will admit that I am struggling in this area. I have had several people, who I personally don't like, offend me. I have a hard time letting it go. Perhaps it is my pride that doesn't want to let go. It feels in some ways like I give up power over the situation when I forgive. This is especially true when the other person is unwilling to acknowledge the hurt they have caused. Holding on to it and nursing it in some ways makes me feel like someone is acknowledging it. But, it also seems the longer you hold on to unforgiveness the harder it is to let go. That thing takes roots and starts to make a home of bitterness and doesn't want to let go easy.
And I think that is one of the reasons it is so important to let it go and give it to God. Because when it does take root, the bitterness is something that saps the strength and joy out of the one holding it. Like a weed that chokes the very life out of its owner. Like a vine that steals all the nourishment for the soul. God gives us these commands for our own sake. Because unforgiveness is like a poison and dangerous to play with. You think your holding on to it and then it turns and bites you.
I also think I need to acknowledge here that it is also difficult for me to forgive myself at times. I think about stupid things that I have done. We have to realize that none of us is perfect and we all make mistakes. Nobody except Jesus lived a life where no mistakes or sins were made. I am thankful that God has told me over and over that if I come to him he is faithful and just to forgive me of my sins and cleanse me from all unrighteousness (1 John 1:9). Jesus was even able to forgive those who crucified him on the cross.
This is a good way to think about forgiveness. That it must be done with the humility that however much others have offended us that we have offended God much more. If God, who didn't need to forgive us was willing to go to that length then we should forgive others. Forgiveness is not minimizing nor is excusing what others have done. It doesn't say that it doesn't matter. Nor, does it mean I treat the person like nothing happened. I can forgive a snake for biting me, but I don't need to stick my hand back into his nest.
I will admit that I am struggling in this area. I have had several people, who I personally don't like, offend me. I have a hard time letting it go. Perhaps it is my pride that doesn't want to let go. It feels in some ways like I give up power over the situation when I forgive. This is especially true when the other person is unwilling to acknowledge the hurt they have caused. Holding on to it and nursing it in some ways makes me feel like someone is acknowledging it. But, it also seems the longer you hold on to unforgiveness the harder it is to let go. That thing takes roots and starts to make a home of bitterness and doesn't want to let go easy.
And I think that is one of the reasons it is so important to let it go and give it to God. Because when it does take root, the bitterness is something that saps the strength and joy out of the one holding it. Like a weed that chokes the very life out of its owner. Like a vine that steals all the nourishment for the soul. God gives us these commands for our own sake. Because unforgiveness is like a poison and dangerous to play with. You think your holding on to it and then it turns and bites you.
I also think I need to acknowledge here that it is also difficult for me to forgive myself at times. I think about stupid things that I have done. We have to realize that none of us is perfect and we all make mistakes. Nobody except Jesus lived a life where no mistakes or sins were made. I am thankful that God has told me over and over that if I come to him he is faithful and just to forgive me of my sins and cleanse me from all unrighteousness (1 John 1:9). Jesus was even able to forgive those who crucified him on the cross.
