Family relationships

 

 "To sum up, let all be harmonious, sympathetic, brotherly, kindhearted, and humble in spirit; not returning evil for evil, or insult for insult, but giving a blessing instead; for you were called for the very purpose that you might inherit a blessing."  1 Peter 3:8-9, NASV

     Peter is writing to families in this section,that really began back in chapter two, but now continues through chapter 3.  He discusses the relationship that a wife and husband have together.  Then sums up what he is saying in verses 8-9 with the above words.  The key word in verse 8 is "all".  This isn't a command for one person or the other, but everyone is included.  Peter included a warning for husbands in his earlier passage that if the husband did not treat his wife with honor and a fellow heir his prayers would be hindered.

     I'm reading this book right now by Gary Smalley called "The DNA of Relationships" and in it Smalley talks about having a "No Lose Policy" when it comes to arguments within the family.  He says that when members of a team play a game they either all win or all lose.  If one person loses then they all lost because they are all members of the same team.  Likewise, God sees the husband and wife as one and it is impossible for one to lose and another to win.  If one person loses then we all lose.  If I treat another person where they feel demoralized, shamed or rejected then I have lost even if I have won the debate or argument.  I have lost because I have treated a person that Jesus died for in a way that is not honoring.

   This relates also to our relationships with fellow believers in the church.  Because we are all a part of the same family.  If one of us loses then all of us lose.  I know that this happens on a regular basis in Baptist church.  It causes churches to split and members to stop talking to each other.  What would the difference be if believers realized that if I treat another believer with dishonor, disrespect or a lack of love I have already lost though I may in some sense win an argument?  I wonder how a typical Baptist business meeting would look different if we took this approach?  That one of the most important qualities is that even if we disagree in some areas we still treat one another with honor and respect. 

    One other thing that I have read not only in Smalley's book, but in other places lately is the "power of one".  This means that I am responsible for all of my actions, feelings, beliefs and feelings and that I can't blame you for them.  I have to take personal responsibility for myself.  So, if you chose to act in a manner that is more like a gorilla in a cage at the zoo, I still can't blame you for my behavior.  Your actions are yours and mine are mine.  I can still chose to treat you with respect, even if you chose not to treat me in that way.  This is a hard thing to do, but I have to realize that I can't blame another person for my behavior. 

    So, this passage is encouraging us to chose to behave in a manner that is harmonious, sympathetic, brotherly, kindhearted, and humble in spirit and not returning evil for evil.  In a sense, this is a great description of the way that Jesus treated other people.  One of the best ways that I can do this is to first focus on loving God and spending time with him and focusing on him and then remembering to love others because he loves them.  There is also a promise in this passage in verses 10-12, which is a quote from Psalm 34 which says that the eyes of the Lord are on those who are righteous and his ears are attentive to their prayer.

1 Peter 1:22-2:10 A Christian house

    Some thoughts from 1 Peter 1:22-2:10.  One of the things that struck me as I read this passage was what a different view of the church God must have from what we do.  As you drive around your community you notice churches of various denominations such as Lutheran, Pentecostal, Baptist, Methodist and some others.  From what I see in this passage, God doesn't see such divisions.  In fact, he sees no divisions at all.  We are actually all being used together to be built into a spiritual house. 
     I know I may get some criticism for speaking against denominations.  I was ordained in the Baptist faith as a deacon in 1997 and as a minister in 1998.  I have been a part of either the Methodist denomination my first 18 years of life and Baptist since then.  I know that there is some distinct differences in denomiations that we would disagree on.  But, I don't see these distinctions in heaven or in this passage.  God isn't going to have a Baptist heaven and a Methodist heaven or a Pentecostal heaven or a Episcopal heaven distinct and divided.  We are all going to be together.  We each have something to offer each other.  Perhaps that is one of the weaknesses of the church today, that we don't benefit from our differences since we are so divided.  We fall horribly short of the command here in this passage where Peter tells us to fervently love each other from the heart 1:22.  Is it any wonder that the devils' main goal is to divide Christians and cause bitterness, hatred and divisiveness.
Peter makes a few things very clear.
1. He tells us that our priority is to love fervently each other.  We do this under the power and authority of the Word of God which is imperishable.  Peter draws that distinction several times in this letter.  Our flesh is temporary and compared to grass, but the Word of God, which is our authority and empowerment is eternal and uncorruptable.  The word imperishable is aphthartos in the greek which means not liable to corruption or decay.  The word "love" that Peter uses here is both a brotherly love and an agape love. 
    Peter then tell us that one of the keys to this is that we are to long for the milk of the word.  Like a newborn baby crying out for the milk of its mother we are to long for the milk of the Word.  This is the nourishment we are to grow through.  Not something that nourishes us simply on Sunday, but something we go back to again and again.
2. The Cornerstone of the house that we are being built into is Jesus.  For some he is the stumbling stone or rock of offense.  This is for those who don't claim to be believers.  For those of us who do he is the cornerstone of our house.  We are all being used together as living stone to be built up into a house where spiritual sacrifices are offered.
     Peter was drawing a distinction between the temple that was a part of the Old Testament which was physical and this new temple which was spiritual.  He was also drawing a distinction between the people of God who are a chosen people or royal priesthood.  Before it was limited to the Levitical priesthood, but now a people are being called without distinction to human heritage.  These are people who were once not a people of God, but now are. 
3.  We are a spiritual house verse 5 "through Jesus Christ".  We don't have this authority in ourselves.  It is only through Christ that we have this authority.  Peter says that as a people of God we are called to "proclaim the excellencies of the one who called us of darkness into light.
4. That as a people of God our conduct is suppose to be different.  Peter and Paul both say this in various places such as Ephesians 4:22,25,31, Colossians 3 and 1 Peter 2:1.  You notice some of the same qualities in each of these text.  Each passages teaches us that we are to put off things like malice, guile, hypocrisy, envy, anger, slander, bitterness.  Colossians 3 tells us that we are to put off the old man and put on the new man which is reflected in qualities such as love, forgiveness, mercy, kindness, goodness, faithfulness and self control.  The fact that God sees us as one just as He is one is also by the way reflected in Jesus prayer in John 17, sometimes called the high priestly prayer of Jesus.