I drove by a church last night that I had not been to before, but was close to my house. I wanted to look at it and find out the service times. So, today I went, without knowing anyone there and sat through the worship service. I was sitting there thinking about my search for a new church home and asked myself again for the hundredth time, "What am I looking for and what is important to me here?"
The service was a typical Methodist traditional service. Nothing wrong with it at all. They even had a communion service served with two common cups. I didn't take part. I was thinking that it really was not sanitary to use two cups to dip bread into. Maybe I'm just showing myself there that I would come up with such a lousy excuse. Also, I was thinking I probably wasn't in the right place right now to take communion. Too many conflicting emotions going on with me, too much hurt. I'm really not sure though if I should have or not. Part of me was wondering who the trouble makers in this church were, but there was also a smaller voice that said I don't have a right to judge anyone.
I'm pretty sure though that in thinking about what I want, I want something a little less formal in its worship than what I experienced today. They probably have an early service that is like that, many of them do. I don't like reading prayers and stuff out of the bulletin. It seems very impersonal to me. I'm thinking maybe something non-denominational or something like that. Someone who preaches messages that are more practical and useful in everyday life. I thought the guy was okay in the pulpit today, but I still had trouble staying awake at times. I think maybe my blood sugar was running high. I always feel tired when my blood sugar is high. Or maybe I am just tired from a hard week of work.
I do know that what is important to me is that the church stress practice daily truths of God's Word. It is important that they be biblically based and Christ centered. It is important to me that living by example is stressed. For I don't believe what you say until I see you living it. I do know that outward service to others is important. That is what I am about. I would like the church I eventually join to reflect that.
Then there is a part of me that wonders if I should even be looking for a church home right now. As many issues that I have with the church right now, as abusive as I have found it to be, I wonder if I should even bother.
