My Online Faith Journal

All of my life, I have heard in church what a forgiving God we have. It sounds so wonderful when you are on the receiving end of forgiveness. But, isn't it hard to be the one to give it? Especially when the other person isn't asking for it and doesn't feel like they have done anything wrong. I've had a person in my life for the last 10 years that I have had trouble accepting and forgiving. For some deep reason that I can not understand, I feel hate when I simply hear the person's voice. I feel disrespected, mocked and belittled by the person. Yet, this is a person I need to forgive for past wrongs, whether they ask for it or not. Forgiveness is not pretending the wrong did not hurt. Forgiveness is not making light of your pain. Forgiveness isn't cheap or easy. Forgiveness isn't something to take lightly or to give carelessly. Forgiveness is not about being above someone else. Forgiveness is about letting go and giving up the right to get even on our o

I was thinking about what provokes change in my life and how I have grown over the years. I came to the conclusion that one of the biggest things is Pain. Pain forces me to take a hard look at myself and ask myself what needs to change. What needs to go. What needs to stay. Where do I need to learn. What have I learned. It is the uncomfortable places and unconvient times when I have learned something important about myself and who I am. One of the biggest things is what I am not. In the process though of learning what I am not, it narrows my focus onto what I am. If that makes any sense. But, also growth for the believer comes through the gentle pull of the Holy Spirit. I never noticed before how we can shake off the pull of the Holy Spirit and quench him though. A God who created the universe and we can shake His Spirit off like he is not even there. He is a persistent spirit though and keeps after us with a love that is ever reaching out to us. It is like the God of the

I noticed this week these words from Revelations 11:1-2. "And there was given me a measuring rod like a staff; and someone said, "Rise and measure the temple of God, and the altar, and those who worship in it. And leave out the court which is outside the temple, and do not measure it, for it has been given to the nations; and they will tread under foot the holy city for forty-two months." I've read those verses numerous times, but then I stopped and thought about why John would be asked to measure the temple. But, not the outer court. And what does it mean to tread under foot? I may be reading too much into this but doesn't treading it under foot suggest to you and measure of disrespect and even hostility to the Gospel? Have you noticed that this is happening not outside the temple, but inside where the Gentiles should be? Then, I thought to myself how do I show disrespect or hostility to the gospel or do I? Isn't it interesting that the people that Jes

Over the last two years, we have been in North Carolina, I have been looking for a church home. At this same time, I am dealing with a lot of hurt I still feel about the way I feel I was treated at the last church I worked at. I am wondering a lot of things right now, including whether or not to remain Baptist. I have visited a number of churches in the area, but most of them seem dead or in the process of dying. One of the larger churches in the area seem to be very hard to get to know people there. So, it seems I don't know where to go or if I should even be trying to find some place to go. In thinking about what is important to me. I think being in a church where people are friendly is important. I want for the church I am a part of for people to get along with others. A hint of a problem in the church justs makes me want to run away. But, along with friendliness is also the theology and whether or not the sermons mean something. Most of the sermons I have heard lately