Brutality and the Bible

    I don't mean to make this sound like I am doubting God or the goodness of God.  I do believe that God is good.  I sometimes have trouble reconciling some views of God in the Old Testament with what I know of Him in the New Testament.  There is a lot of brutality in the Old Testament.  Anyone who doesn't see that must not have read much of it.  One example that I have been pondering over is what happens to Achan in Joshua 7.
    Achan was one of the ones who paraded around Jericho and was there when the walls fall.  He was told along with the others that they were not to take spoil for themselves, but to destroy everything.  It seems that this was too difficult for him and he took several things some silver and some gold and a mntle from Shinar.  He hid them in this tent after the rout of Jericho.  We don't know if he told his family or not, but it seems unlikely to me that he could have kept the news to himself.
   So, the next battle comes along and Israel is defeated before Ai.  Joshua is stunned at this defeat since Jericho was much bigger and he cries out to God.  God reveals to him that someone has kept some of the spoil from Jericho and that is why they could not stand before Ai.  I wonder at why this news was kept from Joshua before the battle.  At any rate, the battle of Ai results in 36 men dying on the Israelites side.
  So, to find out who has kept the spoil, the people come before Joshua by lot and Achan is chosen.  He confesses what he kept for himself (Joshua 7:20-21).  Joshua sends men to Achan's tent and they find what he has hidden.  As a result, everyone and everything Achan owns is brought to the valley and there they stoned and burned all that he had including his daughters and sons and possessions.
   This action is said to turn God fierce wrath away from the people of God and allows them victories in the war effort.  But, what it doesn't say is why God would want to punish the sons and daughters as well as Achan for his sins.  Why is his whole family judged along with him including the poor animals and children?  Unless I am reading this wrong or missing something in the interpretation that is what it says to me.  How do I reconcile that with a merciful, loving God who sent Jesus to die for us? 
   I don't have a position on this at this moment.  It is something I am pondering about.  I asked this question on a forum I use to be moderator on and I have not gotten an answer yet.  There is a possible explanation that Adam Clark mentions in  his commentary that his children were not killed, but witnessed Achan's death that they might take more seriously the sins of their father.  Certainly, this verse takes punishment for stealing or disobeying God's word to a whole new level.  A level that was not typical even for most of Israels history.

Deut 24:16- "Father shall not be put to death for their sons, nor shall sons be put to death for their fathers; everyone shall be put to death for his own sin."
Also 2 Kings 14:6

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