I want to share with you my story about how I came to really know the Lord. My parents have always taken me and my sister Cindy to church. Having said that, most of the time I didn't like it. I went because I had no choice but to go. But, for the most part i was not involved in the youth group until about my junior year in high school.
I remember being a very quiet, introverted kid growing up. I chose my friends carefully and always tried to think out what I was going to say before I did. You could have grown up on the same street as me and not even know I was there. The truth of the matter is that I had absolutely no self-confidence and really didn't like myself much. I had long given up on the youth group at church, so it was a shock to everyone when I said I was going to a mystery retreat the youth had in April of 1983.
The first few hours of the trip I was really questioning why I said I wanted to go. I thought the kids in the group were a little strange (because they were) and loud. I remember us doing some skits that night and then they had a time of devotion before lights out. We stayed at a little church in Huntsville, Texas sleeping on the floor in sleeping bags. I remember watching the kids who came to the altar that night praying thinking to myself that I didn't really have a relationship with God and then seemed to. The seed had been planted.
The second day we really didn't do much the whole morning. There was a stray cat that we all spent time petting and we just hung out on the church steps waiting for the adults to tell us where we were going next. Turns out, we went to Lake Livingstone at a little campsite that was hosting a car show. I remember it was a beautiful day walking around on the shore of the lake and looking at cars. One other thing I remember also that the kids didn't seem so wierd that day. They seemed to accept me as a part of the group. That's critical because I was open to the Lord at that point. If they had not been friendly to me it would have ruined everything. Someone told me years later, "People don't care what you know until they know how much you care." I think that is really true. I saw that the group really cared about me.
After the retreat, I was watching television one night and a lady shared how to ask Jesus to be your Lord and Savior. She said Jesus doesn't force himself into our hearts. He waits for us to open ourselves up to Him and ask Him to be our Lord and to accept His death on the cross. She said we have to repent of our sins and turn to Him. Repent simply means to turn and go in a different direction. Jesus stands at the door and knocks. I thought about it for a few days and then prayed the prayer that she mentioned. A week or two later I did it again because the devil was already working on me trying to tell me I didn't deserve it. Which if we are going to be truthful, he is right I don't deserve it. God didn't save me because I deserved it.
This happened around the time I was 16. I had been battling some feelings of depression during this time. One big thing that I realized at this point is that Jesus loves me just the way I am. Since he is my creator and Lord then there is no ones opinion that matters more. I felt that if my creator accepted me and loves me then I should accept myself. Some chains felt like they broke and fell off me when I realized that. I became to accept myself and all my nerdiness (if that's a word). I began to realize I didn't have to try to please everyone else to accept myself. Some people, even believers, never get there. You don't have to be a people pleaser. You don't have to constantly worry about what people think of you.
I heard a saying one time that said that if God has a refrigerator, your picture is on it. I like that, but it is rather simplistic. The fact is, that you and I were created by God, for God and he holds all the atoms in your soul and body together. Whether or not you acknowledge Him or honor Him. You belong to Him now. As Paul said, you were bought with a price. We are never far from the heart and mind of God. There aren't enough refrigerators, in all the galaxy, to hold all the thoughts that God has about you. We have no single idea or thought about the magnitude of how much God loves each of us. That is why it is horribly offensive to God when we hurt each other. Because you are hurting an object of God's love. Think about that.
This idea is one of the motivators for me as i have sought to serve the Lord as a counselor, pastor, chaplain and in volunteering. God seems to always send me to the "least of these". I find myself in nursing homes, hospitals, parts of the community you don't want to go to at night. I go there because this is where Jesus would go. Because even those people who literally don't have an sense of who he is, don't have any thoughts of him, have no gratitude about him, have no nickels to rub together to give to Him are desperately loved by Him. And it seems these are just the people who normally end up accepting Him.
I remember being a very quiet, introverted kid growing up. I chose my friends carefully and always tried to think out what I was going to say before I did. You could have grown up on the same street as me and not even know I was there. The truth of the matter is that I had absolutely no self-confidence and really didn't like myself much. I had long given up on the youth group at church, so it was a shock to everyone when I said I was going to a mystery retreat the youth had in April of 1983.
The first few hours of the trip I was really questioning why I said I wanted to go. I thought the kids in the group were a little strange (because they were) and loud. I remember us doing some skits that night and then they had a time of devotion before lights out. We stayed at a little church in Huntsville, Texas sleeping on the floor in sleeping bags. I remember watching the kids who came to the altar that night praying thinking to myself that I didn't really have a relationship with God and then seemed to. The seed had been planted.
The second day we really didn't do much the whole morning. There was a stray cat that we all spent time petting and we just hung out on the church steps waiting for the adults to tell us where we were going next. Turns out, we went to Lake Livingstone at a little campsite that was hosting a car show. I remember it was a beautiful day walking around on the shore of the lake and looking at cars. One other thing I remember also that the kids didn't seem so wierd that day. They seemed to accept me as a part of the group. That's critical because I was open to the Lord at that point. If they had not been friendly to me it would have ruined everything. Someone told me years later, "People don't care what you know until they know how much you care." I think that is really true. I saw that the group really cared about me.
After the retreat, I was watching television one night and a lady shared how to ask Jesus to be your Lord and Savior. She said Jesus doesn't force himself into our hearts. He waits for us to open ourselves up to Him and ask Him to be our Lord and to accept His death on the cross. She said we have to repent of our sins and turn to Him. Repent simply means to turn and go in a different direction. Jesus stands at the door and knocks. I thought about it for a few days and then prayed the prayer that she mentioned. A week or two later I did it again because the devil was already working on me trying to tell me I didn't deserve it. Which if we are going to be truthful, he is right I don't deserve it. God didn't save me because I deserved it.
This happened around the time I was 16. I had been battling some feelings of depression during this time. One big thing that I realized at this point is that Jesus loves me just the way I am. Since he is my creator and Lord then there is no ones opinion that matters more. I felt that if my creator accepted me and loves me then I should accept myself. Some chains felt like they broke and fell off me when I realized that. I became to accept myself and all my nerdiness (if that's a word). I began to realize I didn't have to try to please everyone else to accept myself. Some people, even believers, never get there. You don't have to be a people pleaser. You don't have to constantly worry about what people think of you.
I heard a saying one time that said that if God has a refrigerator, your picture is on it. I like that, but it is rather simplistic. The fact is, that you and I were created by God, for God and he holds all the atoms in your soul and body together. Whether or not you acknowledge Him or honor Him. You belong to Him now. As Paul said, you were bought with a price. We are never far from the heart and mind of God. There aren't enough refrigerators, in all the galaxy, to hold all the thoughts that God has about you. We have no single idea or thought about the magnitude of how much God loves each of us. That is why it is horribly offensive to God when we hurt each other. Because you are hurting an object of God's love. Think about that.
This idea is one of the motivators for me as i have sought to serve the Lord as a counselor, pastor, chaplain and in volunteering. God seems to always send me to the "least of these". I find myself in nursing homes, hospitals, parts of the community you don't want to go to at night. I go there because this is where Jesus would go. Because even those people who literally don't have an sense of who he is, don't have any thoughts of him, have no gratitude about him, have no nickels to rub together to give to Him are desperately loved by Him. And it seems these are just the people who normally end up accepting Him.
