Why do pastors leave the ministry?
There is a web site here that talks about pastor burn out. Some of the statistics are very hard to read. It shows a picture that as much as the average person in pew is hurting, so also are American pastors. Many report feeling unable to live up to others expectations, loneliness and burn out. Did you know that 1,500 minister leave the ministry each month due to burn out, moral failure or conflict. Many new pastors never reach their 5th year in ministry. I can tell you why I left just short of 5 years of ministry in the church.
I can tell you that my expectations of working in the church were idealistic and complete fantasy land. I didn't realize how much other people put expectation on the pastor that are unrealistic and harsh. They seem to want someone who talks about family, but neglects his own, works as hard as a 20 year old, has the steadiness of a 40 year old and wisdom of a 60 year old. A pastor is never allowed to have a truly bad day and always must be present for each and every illness and sickness in the hospital, regardless of whether or not he or she is told about it. If you want to be in the ministry, start working on your mind reading skills because people won't always tell you what they want or need, but you will be expected to know.
The inability to be human. When I was a pastor in West Virginia, my son was diagnosed with Type 1 diabetes when he was 5 years old. He spent two days in the hospital. His blood sugar was around 500 when he was admitted. Guess how many people came to see him in the hospital? Nobody. One of the worst experiences of my life and nobody was there except my wife and God to help guide me through it. When he acted out during the children's sermon, I was told I should remove him to a side room of the sanctuary and spank him. The lack of compassion was amazing. The hypocrisy was amazing and eventually it wears on you. You realize that some of the best people you know are not church members and don't go to church. Worse, you realize that you don't want to go to church.
I can tell you that I found I was okay with resigning when there was no longer any joy about speaking a message that I felt came directly from God. Because working in the church is more than a job. It is also the pastor and his families place of worship. When you can no longer do that with any joy then it is significant that you have reached the place of burn out. I heard a pastor talk about Jeremiah one time. Known as the weeping prophet, he came out of his ministry of 40 years having only one sidekick named Baruch who stood by him and the clothing on his back. From a earthly point of view his ministry was a complete failure. The pastor I heard mention that said God only called one Jeremiah and I don't want to be another one. I thought to myself that life is too short to be this miserable and left. Quite frankly, when I did leave it took me a while to realize how angry I was and how closed off I was to befriending other christian people. It is now 7 years since that happened and only now do I feel more open and less critical, but I still have a ways to go.
But, it was not a total defeat in terms of ministry. When God closed that door, he also opened another one. I found I do my best work in the community when I am with other hurting people. I got involved in the chaplaincy and then in mental health work. I found out that there are a lot, a whole lot of people who are hurting out there that will never darken the doors of a church. And I found that God uses all the dark places, all the hurt, struggle, tears and joys in my life to help minister to other people. Because the church might reject you, but the calling of God is irrevocable in a person's life. And if your open to it, God will use you in some way. Though it make take a while to find your path.
I can tell you that my expectations of working in the church were idealistic and complete fantasy land. I didn't realize how much other people put expectation on the pastor that are unrealistic and harsh. They seem to want someone who talks about family, but neglects his own, works as hard as a 20 year old, has the steadiness of a 40 year old and wisdom of a 60 year old. A pastor is never allowed to have a truly bad day and always must be present for each and every illness and sickness in the hospital, regardless of whether or not he or she is told about it. If you want to be in the ministry, start working on your mind reading skills because people won't always tell you what they want or need, but you will be expected to know.
The inability to be human. When I was a pastor in West Virginia, my son was diagnosed with Type 1 diabetes when he was 5 years old. He spent two days in the hospital. His blood sugar was around 500 when he was admitted. Guess how many people came to see him in the hospital? Nobody. One of the worst experiences of my life and nobody was there except my wife and God to help guide me through it. When he acted out during the children's sermon, I was told I should remove him to a side room of the sanctuary and spank him. The lack of compassion was amazing. The hypocrisy was amazing and eventually it wears on you. You realize that some of the best people you know are not church members and don't go to church. Worse, you realize that you don't want to go to church.
I can tell you that I found I was okay with resigning when there was no longer any joy about speaking a message that I felt came directly from God. Because working in the church is more than a job. It is also the pastor and his families place of worship. When you can no longer do that with any joy then it is significant that you have reached the place of burn out. I heard a pastor talk about Jeremiah one time. Known as the weeping prophet, he came out of his ministry of 40 years having only one sidekick named Baruch who stood by him and the clothing on his back. From a earthly point of view his ministry was a complete failure. The pastor I heard mention that said God only called one Jeremiah and I don't want to be another one. I thought to myself that life is too short to be this miserable and left. Quite frankly, when I did leave it took me a while to realize how angry I was and how closed off I was to befriending other christian people. It is now 7 years since that happened and only now do I feel more open and less critical, but I still have a ways to go.
But, it was not a total defeat in terms of ministry. When God closed that door, he also opened another one. I found I do my best work in the community when I am with other hurting people. I got involved in the chaplaincy and then in mental health work. I found out that there are a lot, a whole lot of people who are hurting out there that will never darken the doors of a church. And I found that God uses all the dark places, all the hurt, struggle, tears and joys in my life to help minister to other people. Because the church might reject you, but the calling of God is irrevocable in a person's life. And if your open to it, God will use you in some way. Though it make take a while to find your path.
