I was thinking today of the passage where Jesus tells his disciples that they must take up their cross and follow him. I was specifically wondering what the disciples thought that that meant before they knew that Jesus would die on the cross. Keeping in mind that the only crosses they had seen were the Roman crosses that were used to torture and slowly kill people. People would sometimes stay on a cross for a week or more, slowly going mad from the dehydration and blood loss. The thief and Jesus were the exceptions when it comes to those who died within a few hours of the start of the crucifixion.
One of the things it most likely meant was the idea of surrender and sacrifice. It means putting God's will first and my own last. It means loving my enemies and praying for those who hate us. It seems to mean, at least in part, in doing some things that my flesh is rebellious of, like not immediately getting even with those who make me angry or not gossiping about those I don't like.
Maybe that is part of what it means to have a sin nature because my flesh seems to be, as Paul says in Romans 6-7, in rebellion to what God wants. In fact, the harder I try sometimes the least success I seem to have. Rather, the "no" of the law seems to make my sin nature reek havoc. It is like I would not have wanted to walk on the grass, bu there is a sign that says, "Don't walk on the grass", so suddenly that's what I want to do. Or that could be my passive-aggressive nature shining through, but I suspect I am not alone here.
The thing is, is that even Paul had these struggles and none of us will arrive this side of heaven, but I think part of it is found in growing closer to God and surrendering and submitting these areas of my life to God's control. Moses, for example, was a man who committed murder while in Egypt. He actually beat a man to death and hid him in the sand. But, years later, after multiple encounters with God, the Israelites noticed that Moses face shone after he talked with God. It wasn't that there was something all that special about Moses. But, it was a reflected glory that they saw from Moses being in God's presence. In a sense, you become like those you hang around. If Jesus needed to spend all nights at times in God's presence, then how much more do I need it? I need to realize that if people are going to see any glory, it is also going to be reflected from having spent time in his presence.
Questions to Consider:
1. Whose presence do I reflect back to others on a daily basis?
2. Do I spend enough time with God that others can see it without a bumper sticker or other christian light slogan or stickers?
3. Do I really surrender my will to God's? Or do I just want him to bless what I want to do?
4. What areas of my life do I need to surrender to God?
