Taking root

  Last weekend and the one before I worked on expanding a flower bed in our yard.  In order to do that, I had to pull up some of the grass near the house and move it to the other side of the yard.  It might sound easy, but unless you have a machine that does it for you then it isn't that easy.  I would get it started and slowly roll the grass up and cut the roots holding the grass down until it was rolled up and I could move it. 
  After that, I took the grass across the yard to some spots where there was no grass and planted them and watered.  This involves softening the ground where your going to put the grass and then making sure it has enough water.  You soften the ground so that the roots can with time burrow into the ground it was moved to. 
  It got me to thinking about the difference between having roots and being rooted.  At first, the grass was rooted.  It was tough to pull up because it was rooted into the ground.  It had been there for years and liked where it was.  Having roots simply means you have the capacity to be rooted.  When it was moved, it would be easy to pick it up again and move it to a new location because it wasn't rooted yet.
   As a believer, I have the capacity to be rooted in place.  This comes slowly, just like with the roots of the grass, as I root myself into God's word and prayer and practicing spiritual disciplines.  It may not look fun or exciting or thrilling, but it helps keep me rooted when trouble comes.  The other grass looks okay too on the surface, but it has been pulled up and is easily moved.  It hasn't had time yet to be rooted.  It hasn't done the work required.
   The spiritual disciplines may not seem glamourous or important until trouble comes.  Being rooted in God's word will keep us out of trouble and keep our faith strong.  I remember as a freshman in college, there was a lot of temptations to join the crowd and do things I shouldn't do.  In the small town of Huntsville there was at least five college bars kids went to every Thursday.  Instead, I joined Campus Crusade for Christ which also met on Thursday and got involved in a good group of young people.  I kept going to church.  I kept my eyes on Jesus.  It kept me from making a lot of serious mistakes.  It can keep your feet firmly planned on a good foundation also.

What God has said to me recently. . . .

      Recently, I wrote about my frustrations at finding a new church home.  Right after that post, I started going to a church that meets at my son's school which is about a mile from our home.  They also have small groups which is something that I really wanted.  While it may not be a perfect fit for us, I think if I wait for a perfect fit this side of heaven I will never find it and church hop till I get to heaven.  It makes me think again about what my expectations are for a local church.  What do you expect when you go to church?

      I think it was the second or third service I attended when Scott, one of the copastors got up to speak and really spoke about some themes that had been going through my mind.  At that point, I had not met Scott at all or told him what was on my mind.  It came back to the idea that I am longing for God to speak to me clearly.  I am looking for a clear word from him.

     Well, be careful what you ask for, you might get it.  One of the things I heard loud and clear is that there are some things in mind that is keeping me from being all that God wants me to be.  That is a hard message to hear, but we need to hear it sometimes.  One of the things that came to mind was the issue of forgiveness.  I have a memory when it comes to past hurts that is eternal.  I tend to hold grudges like it was my favorite toy and your trying to take it from me.  I may not be able to remember the three things my wife told me to get by the time I get to the store and have to call seven times, but I know what I was wearing five years ago when I was hurt.  I remember what the other person was wearing, what was playing on the radio and what I had for lunch that day.  I remember what the weather was like and what I did that morning.  If it was up to me I would have it on a billboard for everyone to read about.  I have a hard time forgiving, but that is exactly what I need to do.  I heard God speak to my heart and say loud and clear "let it go" and I heard myself say, "No, not yet."

     Then Scott went on with his two prong assault on my heart.  It really isn't Scott's fault.  I actually like the guy.  But, he doesn't fight fair.  I forgot my protest sign that morning, so I sat there waiting for the next part of the message.  Then Scott says that the other thing that some of us "that's me" need to let go of is "pride".  Ouch.  It was like someone took out a flashlight and shined it on my heart and said, "This is why you won't let go of this hurt, your pride."  So, I had to come to the realization that this is what is holding me back, as the pastor pointed out, pride often does that even though we refuse to call it that.  I had to come to the point where I am willing to say though the other person never acknowledges the hurt they caused, I need to give this to God and let go.

Ephesians 4:31-32 "Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you."

Knowing God's Will

    Lately, I have been thinking about how to know the difference between God's will and my own.  Specifically, I have been wondering to myself if when I feel a sense of discontentment if this is from the Lord or if this is my own will.  Or does God sometimes use feelings of discontent to get us to move in another diretion?  I have heard that he does and I have also heard that this is the flesh fighting against the Spirit.

    I really don't want to just go rush out and do something because of a feeling of discontent and then walk outside of the will of God.  Sometimes, even more someone like me who has seminary degrees and has been ordained it is hard to hear from God.  The frustrating thing is that sometimes when I feel I most need to hear from him he grows even more silent than usual.

    There are some issues that I know I need to deal with and I think that is probably the best place to start when thinking about God's will.  I know that the commandments of God are firm and that they are the same for everyone.  I know that God desires for me to love other people and Him.  I know that He wants me to grow in Christlikeness.  I know that he wants me to grow in the fruit of the Spirit mentioned in Galatians.  This seems like a big enough task by itself to keep me busy for the rest of my life.  The truth is, that I am nowhere near where I need to be.  I may appear spiritually mature, but I do wonder a lot of times about that.  If that is even a possibility this side of heaven.  It seems the more I look the less I see of people who are truly spiritually mature and more selfishness and egoism, even in the church.

    So, these are things I know I need to work on.  What is less clear is specific things that God wants me to do.  For example, which church to join.  It seems that the churches I have been at lately are either rock band style worship services or organ music senior citizen groups.  I don't like Southern Gospel, it sounds folksy and boring and trite.  I don't like rock band music because it is too loud and I just don't get the need for spotlights in church.  The Summit church where I went to last month had at least 25-30 spotlights around the worship center.  So, I am having trouble finding a place to fit in and wondering where God is leading me and not hearing any clear direction. 

    Some verses I have found helpful in the past are Psalm 37:4-6; Psalm 145:19; Romans 8:28